Monday, July 24, 2006

Annoyed Librarian Guide to Library Management

The Annoyed Librarian thinks library management is a very important issue, and would like to offer her tips on how to be a good library manager.
  • Remember, your employees are not as smart as you. If they were, they'd be managers.
  • Never leave your office. If people have problems, you need to be there for them.
  • Never schedule office appointments. If people have problems, they need to solve the problem themselves.
  • Fix the blame, not the problem.
  • Your subordinates need detailed instructions with every task. Make sure they have them!
  • People need encouragement when working. Stand behind them, massage their shoulders, and whisper, "No pressure!"
  • Be sure to take the credit for any good thing your employees manage to accomplish. After all, they wouldn't have accomplished it without your guidance and support, or if you'd fired them!
  • Don't ever lead by example! That just means some unpleasant work for you. Unpleasant work is what you got promoted to avoid.
  • People work better under pressure. Your best motivational tactic is to surprise people with a serious problem and demand its immediate solution.
  • Then, the next day, forget all about it, and surprise them with another problem!
  • Surly employees are just surly because they're worthless human beings. Don't worry about it.
  • Build a bunker under the library and stock it with plenty of canned goods. Could be useful in an emergency.
  • When all else fails, hide! The library will function fine without you, anyway.


danceswithbooks said...

Hmm, hey, if the massage thing worked for the "leader" of the free world and some chancellor, it should work for the library manager.

P.B.I. Librarian said...

You know my administrator, don't you?

Another Annoyed (Almost-)Librarian said...

At last! I finally find my new home on the Net!!!

Taupey, the Bush Kangaroo said...

If Dogbert ran a library...

My code word is "rotepe" which sounds like its symptoms include a rash, burning sensations and low grade fever. "And so the headhunter says to the American, "Death or Rotepe?"

Annoyed Librarian said...

Death by Rotepe!