Thursday, November 30, 2006

Annoyed Librarian Facts

Today is Annoyed Librarian Lite, adapted from Chuck Norris Facts. As you might guess, I'm too busy to write anything thoughtful.

The Annoyed Librarian doesn't sleep. She waits.

The Annoyed Librarian makes coffee by grinding the beans with her teeth and boiling the water with her own rage.

The Annoyed Librarian will attain statehood in 2008. Her state flower will be the magnolia.

The Annoyed Librarian doesn't actually write blog posts. The words just assemble themselves out of fear.

Nobody doesn't like Sara Lee, except the Annoyed Librarian.

The Annoyed Librarian built a better mousetrap, but the world was too frightened to beat a path to her door.

If at first you don't succeed, you're not the Annoyed Librarian.


Anonymous said...

The only way to look at AL's bottom is through a little disc of foil with a pinhole, else you be blinded.

AL's wit is used by brain surgeons to excise tissue when a laser is too imprecise.

AL doesn't fear "fear itself."

If you want to see a nice picture of AL circa 1989, find the video of the Berlin Wall coming down. Yeah, that's her, on the right, directing her minions to destroy the USSR.

AL destroyed Communism because Tetris bored her.

James Carville admitted that AL said to him "It's the economy, stupid" in 1991 as she walked by Carville on her way to the bar.

ALs sweat would win "Best Overall" at any blindfolded martini tasting event.

AL *could* dunk, but instead wills the rim to a reasonable height and effortlessly deposits the ball.

AL was the real reason Charles dumped Di.

AL bailed Bill Gates out of a New Mexico jail and said" "Operating system, eh? Rent it, don't sell it." He gave her 100,000 shares of pre-IPO MSFT, which to this day are in ALs "junk drawer."

Tarentino and Kevin Smith both have AL on speed dial.


contrarian librarian said...

AL doesn't fret, she drinks martinis.

AL doesn't worry about looks, she's got a librarian's bottom.

AL isn't an ideologue, she's too smart for that.

AL doesn't have followers, she has loyal minions.

AL doesn't just blog, she rules the library world.

Anonymous said...

AL pwns PLG (apologies to Unshelved)

AL is one degree of separation from Kevin Bacon (okay, that one's an oldie)

Anonymous said...


getalife said...

Hysterical! I'll be back.

Anonymous said...