Become a Librarian!
The old stereotype of a librarian as someone who just sits around reading books all day is out of date. Sure, there's plenty of time to read books all day, but with the fast paced information universe we live in librarians have to do more than read books. Librarians also have to surf the Internet.
Intrigued? Read on.
Let me describe a typical workday in the life of typical librarian--me. I get to work about 10am. Why so early, you ask? Simple. That's when they put out the fresh coffee and donuts in the staff lounge. After I arrive, I sit chatting and eating donuts with my fellow librarians for a half hour or so. Usually we talk about how great it is to be librarians. It's a boring conversation, but life-affirming. It's important to be bored but affirmed when you're a librarian.
After the morning coffee break, I toddle off to my luxurious private office tucked away in a corner of the fifth floor. All librarians have private corner offices, of course. That's why so many libraries have that zigzag footprint, so that there are enough corners for the librarian offices. In the hour or so I have before lunch, I usually recline on my leather sofa and read an improving book. It helps relax me, and it's important to relax when you're a librarian.
Then it's lunchtime! Most libraries have a special librarian restaurant that the rest of the staff doesn't know about. One of the perks of the profession! It's a lot like other 3-4 star restaurants, but with free food. In my library it's on the top floor so that we get a nice view of the surrounding area while eating our tarte flambée or beef bourguignon or whatever the special is that day. Librarians don't like to move or eat quickly. We like slow food, so we often linger for an hour and a half to two hours over lunch. When the food is good and the wine is better, why hurry? It's important to be well fed when you're a librarian.
By 2pm or so lunch is over, and it's back to the office for a little siesta. That's when the sofa really comes in handy. I dim the lights and curl up with my favorite blanket for an hour's peaceful shuteye. Studies have shown that workers who take a short nap during the afternoon are more alert and efficient, and it's important to be alert and efficient when you're a librarian.
After my nap, it's unfortunately time to do some unpleasant work--checking email. I don't know if other librarians are as swamped as I am, but I sometimes get as many as eight emails in a single day, each one requiring my loving attention. Several of these are messages from my knitting listservs. One is typically my mom just saying hello. Reading all those listserv messages can get monotonous, so I vary the work by flipping between email and my blogs. I also subscribe to a number of knitting blogs, so you can imagine how long it takes me to read through everything. I usually peek at the news as well, just so I can stay informed. It's important to stay informed when you're a librarian.
So by 4pm, I'm worn out, as you can imagine. Fortunately, I'm usually finished with my email and blog reading by 4, so I can just leave. If it's a pleasant day, I usually walk home to my spacious apartment provided gratis by the library. In bad weather, I often have the library limousine drive me home. No need to endure any unpleasantness during my four-block commute.
Some days instead of going home I go to the library bar for happy hour. If only this were free like the restaurant! But no. The martinis cost a dollar with house gin or two dollars with brand name gin. Since my salary is in the low six figures, I always opt for the brand name. Live a little, that's what I say.
I don't think I've mentioned the best part. I got this job straight out of library school, because the only qualification for the job was an ALA-accredited MLS! If you go to library school and get your MLS, you too can enjoy the peaceful life of a librarian. That's a guarantee!
So what are you waiting for? Choose your library school today!