Once again, I bring you some of the Internet searches that actually led to the AL. So for those of you writing your next article on information seeking behavior, or for those who just want to know how sad and pathetic our fellow humans are, here you go:
very important stuff that will keep the librarian off my back
Have you tried back hair? It would keep me off your back.
what would cochise do
Who cares? Is this some new Cochise cult? Are you going to get some little bracelets that say "WWCD"?
cute guy library blogs
What would be the interest here? That the cute guys would post their picture? Or just mention how cute they are? Or are we to expect, against much evidence, that just because a guy is cute he has something interesting to say? And we're talking librarians, right? The pickings are slim.
does it pay to go to the highest ranked library science school
If you knew my library school and my salary, the question would answer itself.
where to get rid of old porn
Have you tried recycling it? That way your old porn wouldn't contribute to our environmental worries. Just think, your old issue of Hustler can be turned into a notebook for your daughter to use in school.
This from a really twisted Canadian.
Sounds to me like someone looking to sue somebody.
education requirements garbage men
Could there be any?
Some German pervert was looking for this. Why don't they just stick with Nazi porno?
nazi shoe porno
No, I'm kidding with this one.
about earnable in house works without computer
illegal child porno
This one from Turkey, no less. Yes, let's definitely look for illegal child porno. We wouldn't want to be bored by that merely legal child porno. You're a really sick sumbitch, aren't you.
hot girls from weatherford ok
Yes, that's just the sort of search I'd turn to Google for. This was a Google image search from Kingfisher, OK. Is that close to Weatherford? Nevertheless, it's just sad.
librarians having sex
Librarians do have sex; I can testify to that. But do we really want to see it?
porn for kids that cant afford membership
I guess this is what people mean by the "digital divide."
how long did it take to find your first job as a librarian?
Natural language searching. I like it. Well, in some ways it took my entire life up until that point. But I had my first professional job 4 months before I graduated from library school, if that's what you mean.
books about job interview with answers
If you have the answers, it sort of spoils the fun for the interviewers. "If you were a car, what sort of car would you be?" "Let's see, page 28...I'd be a Chevy." Other than that, what could be the answers? "What exactly did you do in your last job?" "Um, um, let me check the book."
who wants to buy a house near gambling casino and race track?
Compulsive gamblers? Problem is they can't afford a house since they've lost their money at the racetrack.
who is a bad customer?
You are, you naughty boy!
Wishful thinking. There appears to be no such place.
porn when there just standing still
This was so stupid in itself I couldn't think of any way to make it sound more stupid.
library inspirational slogans
Obviously a manager wanting to inspire the troops. I suggest good management rather than inspirational slogans. But that's just me.
pictures of young hip dynamic people
Definitely want a library blog.
girl in whipping position
I'd like to put you in the whipping position and then just leave you for the buzzards, you sick bastard.
female dog porn
I believe the technical term is Bitch Porn, which I think means you need to be bitch-slapped, and I'm just the bitch to do it.
nazi military porn magazines
Probably from the same twisted Canadian who wanted the communist porn. Perhaps he's preparing a comparative chart or writing his dissertation.
any kind of 5 minute porn videos
It's nice to know you're not picky. I find it interesting that the most important thing is that they last only five minutes. Remind me not to date you. Who searches for this? This is just more evidence that the public librarians need to be teaching people how to find porn more efficiently.
the top reasons why people dont get jobs because of race
It seems to me the top reason would be race, and probably the rest of the reasons, too.
Are there any other kind?
I'm not even going to ask.
Obviously looking for librarians. Unless he was looking for obese hobos.
They're coming for you! This could make a good horror movie title.
women in corsets having sex
Why don't you just stop being such a pathetic loser and maybe some woman would put on a corset and have sex with you.
men in corsets porn
Have you tried counseling?
cleaning smut off computer
This looks like another teachable moment for public librarians.
"harder to get into vet school" "med school"
Both are harder than library school, so what do you care.
why do people look at porn?
Because they don't have attractive people down on their knees worshiping them, like I do.
male stripper salary
Depends on the length of your, er..., resume.
get into porn sites at the library
This would make a great ALA poster. It should be "@ the Library," though.
librarian without master
men touch themselves in public
And in private, from what I can tell. What could this person possibly have been looking for?
the perverts of the young research library
This sounds like it would make a great soap opera.
free speech removing scrotum pictures from library
Have we had a problem with scrotum pictures in the library?
how to date a librarian
buy the scrotum flap
I don't know what this means, but I think the scrotum flap is a hilarious part of the male anatomy.
flea porn books
Flea porn is probably a lot more interesting than a flea circus. Is this filmed with a microscope or what?
russians minors porno
What kind of bizarre fetish is this? Does is have to be a Russian minor? How about an Estonian? Would that do?
blogs for frustrated librarians
Baby, you've arrived!
porn "no genitals"
What's the point or porn with no genitals? That's the whole purpose of porn, bonehead.
walt crawford "second life'
Ok. You've got me. The AL is Walt Crawford's second life. Now Humorless Unionator can call up OCLC and complain.
how to become a librarian
Fail at everything else?
hate being a librarian
That's okay. One day you'll be dead and won't have to worry about it any more.
what do you mean by prima donna
I mean the Annoyed Librarian, baby!