Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Fundraising Tip: Sue Google

Libraries are always looking for more money. Heck, even the ALA is always looking for more money, which is why their dues are now so high. I think the way to raise more money is to sue Google. Apparently, everyone else is doing it. The NYT has an article today about some recent lawsuits filed against Google.

"Last week, a Pennsylvania resident sued Google in federal court alleging that his Social Security number turned upside down and scrambled spells the name Google. In a handwritten complaint, the plaintiff, Dylan Stephen Jayne, asks for $5 billion in damages."

The handwritten complaint is funny stuff. I can't tell if the guy is a practical joker or just mentally ill. Either way, we all benefit.

There's another one "filed in federal district court in Texas last week, alleging that Google stole its name from the Gogo tribe of Tanzania. The suit was filed by Denis Maringo, who according to the complaint is an immigration detainee at the CCA Houston Processing Center, allegedly detained for political reasons. Google rival Yahoo is also a defendant in this case, based on allegations that the Internet portal stole its name from the Yao tribe of Tanzania. In the complaint, Mr. Maringo claims that his paternal grandfather was a Gogo and his maternal grandmother was a Yao."

This Maringo character must not be familiar with large numbers or Gulliver's Travels, and again we benefit.

What does this have to do with librarians, you might ask? It should be obvious, but I'll elaborate. I've read and heard plenty of arguments, rants, and discussions among librarians about how bad Google is, that is, it's bad because it's so good. "We buy all these databases and students just go to Google," the librarians whine. "Googling isn't a good way to do research, but they try anyway." And of course one of my favorites, "I'm a human search engine, I'm way better than Google." But alas, nobody cares.

Google has done irreparable psychological damage to plenty of librarians who loved being the tightfisted and anal retentive guardians of information. And they have to hear "Google" used as a verb all the time. No one ever made a verb of "librarian," and if they did it probably wouldn't have anything to do with search. Now that Google's around and it's so popular, these poor damaged librarians should sue Google for something or other. Maybe they could even handwrite the note.

16 comments:

Anonymous said...

So your post is saying that while no librarians have sued Google, you bet they would because they're all sure immature, emotionally flawed sacks of Jell-O.

Do I have that right?

shade said...

Jeezum crow! I wish they'd do something useful instead - like figure out a way to add a controlled vocab so when I'm googling "USA PATRIOT Act" I can get a copy of the damn Act and not a bunch of analysis. Google is the joy and bane of my existence since I no longer have access to the lovely, expensive databases. I'd cry hot tears of joy to have Lexis-Nexis again.

*sigh* Wonder if I can sue Google for anything? Mental anguish?

AL said...

"So your post is saying that while no librarians have sued Google, you bet they would because they're all sure immature, emotionally flawed sacks of Jell-O.

Do I have that right?"

No, you don't have that right. It seems to me that I suggested those librarians who complain about Google should file a frivolous lawsuit in an attempt to get compensated for the psychological damage Google has apparently done to them.

Anonymous said...

Does anal retentive have anything to do with Irish bottoms?

--Taupey

Anonymous said...

379009

Try it on a calculator--turn it upside down.

--Taupey, who never thought 71077345 on a TI calculator looked like ShELLOIL anyway.

Anonymous said...

So... Canada didn't sue Google, but I'm not sure it wasn't threatened. The street view that Google provides shows a clear view of license plates and faces. This goes against Canadian Privacy Laws.

You can read the article at:

http://www.canada.com/nationalpost/news/story.html?id=a5052787-a013-4ed4-b9f7-44acc96f9858&k=81423

Anonymous said...

like figure out a way to add a controlled vocab so when I'm googling "USA PATRIOT Act" I can get a copy of the damn Act and not a bunch of analysis.

enter:

+"patriot act" +text

Such is the uselessness of my life I felt the need to respond to that.

Anonymous said...

frivolous lawsuit in an attempt to get compensated for the psychological damage Google has apparently done to them.

Great! Know any Pro Bono lawyers who will take this on or should I file my handwritten screed myself?

Anonymous said...

" Great! Know any Pro Bono lawyers who will take this on or should I file my handwritten screed myself?'

Any decent third-rate personal injury lawyer will take your case - - -for a 1/3 to 1/2 contingency fee.xwauls

Bunny Watson said...

How about a contest for who can come up with the best definition of the verb "to librarian"?

Degolar said...

To Librarian - To promote oneself as an expert in information searching.

Anonymous said...

Or:
librar, librars (v.t.)
librared (p. part.)
libraring (ger.)
librarian (n.)

crumbly said...

libraranó
libraras
libraráre
libraráví
librarátum

ad, nearly, infinitum including:

librarant (moving more than own weight in books)

Anonymous said...

Having librarianed for a few years, librarianing seems an even mix of directing people to bathrooms and internet centers, with a touch of reference thrown in for flavor. I sometimes librarian freelance, offering people directions if I see them staring at a map, but this will soon be obsolete, when people start carrying GPS as a matter of course. Oh, I forget, librarianing always involves doing anything with the fear of becoming obsolete couched in hyperactive propaganda about one's own importance.

shade said...

Thanks Anon@4:50-

You've taught me more than my worthless reference professor ever did.

Anonymous said...

Oh, this is so much more fun than all that librarianly stuff I have to read for library school.

Stud-y