Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Sports Writers and Librarians

What is it these days with sports writers and librarians? Those sports writers seem more obsessed with us than we are with ourselves, and that's saying something.

This article was sent to me by a fan. In it a sports writer (of sorts) speculates on what jobs he would like if all jobs paid the same amount of money. Librarian come in #3, behind "Movie Theater Ticket Ripper Person" and "Lifeguard." And what's so attractive about being a librarian?

"Do libraries even exist anymore? I haven’t been in one since grade school, which is a LONG time ago. I didn’t really like them back then either. Why do I have this job on my list then? Because you always have to be really quiet in a library, so no one will really have to talk to me. I know I would have to know they Huey-Dewey Decimal System (or something like that) but who cares. You sit there all day and stamp peoples books, how hard can that be? I would hate to put the books back, but you do have one of those push carts. I also hate to read books, so I probably wouldn’t be a good person to ask about how a book was. This job seems pretty easy though, and all the librarians that I can remember had pretty pail skin and seemed allergic to the sun, which is right up my alley so I would fit right in."

More great ALA recruitment material. Perhaps he does have what it takes to be a librarian. Just count the exclamation points in the full article. If not a librarian, he's at least qualified to be a library blogger.

24 comments:

Anonymous said...

Pail skin? How does your skin end up looking like a bucket?

Anyways, he goes on about the most typical stereotype of librarians, namely that it's an easy job which mainly requires stamping books and telling people to be quiet.

Que the ALA Library Greatness Orchestra as the impresario Jean Teasdale sings a sonnet about the greatness of libraries.....

Of course I've never had any interest in sports (stereotype again) and can barely tell the difference between football and soccer, so what I do care what a sportswriter thinks?

Anonymous said...

I noticed that this guy is a "consultant". Enough said. If you can't do, or spell, consult.

Anonymous said...

Most library work is so repetitive that an industrial robot could do it. In fact, my library tried to install one of those new-fangled self-checkout machines, but I objected -- I wouldn't have a job left if they did that. Luckily for me I belong to the union, and they saved my job. My library isn't going to be making any drastic changes like that, not in my lifetime.

Brent said...

Why don't librarians wear uniforms? Then they won't be stereotype based on clothing.

Anonymous said...

The guy has work as a writer and hates to read?

I'm sorry, I missed the library issue in my generalized headdesking.

Tsk, tsk on this.

Marianaria Sra. bibliotecaria said...

To anonymous (the first replier) who doesn't know the difference between football and soccer: they both involve kicking a ball, at least some of the time; another ball sport involves throwing it through an iron ring; two sports involve hitting something with a stick; and two involve hitting a something with a stringed object.

As a librarian you should know these details.

j- said...

Seahawkshuddle? I take it [no, I'm not clicking on the link] that this dude lives here in the Seattle metro area...and he's worried about pale skin? Um, there's no sun here for months. What's *he* going to get a tan from, aurora borealis?

And he doesn't like to read, huh...wow, imagine that in Seattle. Not even the Democratic Underground or Daily Kos or the bumper of one of the million or so Suburu Outbacks festooned with multitudes of stickers displaying just how much Bush-hate the driver has? Not even those?

I think an easier job would be the guy who cleans up after all the Seahawks' Super Bowl victories, you know, because they've never won one and never will. Or the guy who makes Holmgren's salads, you know, because dude eats nothing but Top Pot 3 times a day.

Have I stereotyped enough for one post yet?

The Eeyore Librarian said...

LOL I love it! We should bask in the stereotypes. I agree with that one commenter who says a robot could do some of this library work. I get paid $13 bucks an hour to put a library sticker on our magazines so that patrons know they're ours! And I'm not even in our union!! (extra exclamation points make the world brighter)!!

On Tu Luong said...

...sportwriting and irony go together like sincerity and a Hollywood party. I think librarians ought to take a page from the sportswriters comic book and disprove the stereotyple by:
-wearing slutty clothes in the workplace, especially for story hour
-quoting Jerry Springer guests and situations frequently.
-men coming to the reference desk with a load on and wearing NASCAR apparel -
-instead of apologizing to patrons using quaint replies like "go pound sand in your ass!" or genealogy is just a trick bag man!"
-drinking human blood from bota bags to combat that Seattle tan one gets in libraries...

and Jean Teasdale would make a great clerk

Anonymous said...

Homely librarians. Patrons who only want to look at pr0n or deal drugs. It's disgusting! I think all the public libraries should be shut down. We should go back to the subscription library model that served this country well for hundreds of years before those d@mn New Englanders took it into their heads to start this d@mnable "public" library model. Academic libraries should be closed to everyone except students and teaching staff, access by ID card only, whether RFID or magnetic stripe or some other means, I don't care.

DearReader said...

I've been both a lifeguard and a librarian. Honestly, some days it's difficult to tell the difference. I switch shifts in the chair/on the desk, I yell at people for running, I have to deal with the public all day. Yeah, there are days when it's really fun and rewarding - but seriously, lifeguarding is a much more life-and-death job. One must be in better shape, and no degree is needed!

Anonymous said...

To anonymous (the first replier) who doesn't know the difference between football and soccer:

Que one for people with no sense of humor.

they both involve kicking a ball, at least some of the time; another ball sport involves throwing it through an iron ring; two sports involve hitting something with a stick; and two involve hitting a something with a stringed object.

I've been thinking about trying to make a new sport that would involve paddles, iron nets, mass hysteria, and a spear gun. I got a winner, ya think?

As a librarian you should know these details.

But for precious sake's, what is the name of these sports? I'm lost without your guidance!

Anonymous said...

We don't need to close the public libraries, we just need to repeal some of the insane ALA policies of the so-called politically correct decades. Instead of depending on unreliable Internet filters to block pr0n sites, library computers should be set up so that only websites that have been vetted by the library staff can be viewed. A "white list" approach instead of a "black list."

As for homely librarians, this problem is not unique to libraries, but is endemic in many customer service fields. We need to repeal many, if not most, of the so-called equal opportunity in employment laws and let employers choose employees based on any criteria they deem appropriate, including appearance. Of course this won't stop library school from continuing to hand out degrees to everyone regardless of appearance, but maybe if they started requiring photos to accompany graduate school applications, that would change. It would also reduce the number of MLS graduates to something more manageable, which would in turn raise salaries for us.

AL said...

Libraries would be much more popular if they fired most of the employees and hired witty and attractive people. Aren't we supposed to make libraries more appealing?

Anonymous said...

I don't think you people understand; this guy blogs about how he wants to sit around all day getting paid for doing nothing and talking to no one. He deserves our adulation, not our scorn. Why, he is some sort of idiot savant who somehow became a librarian without going to library school and doesn't even know it! He just needs a wise librarian sensei to train him to train him to reflexively put 2.0 after every other noun(Why settle for being the movie theater ticket taker person when you can be the movie theater ticket taker person 2.0 and tear tickets via RSS? If you don't understand how or why you are just a 2.0 hater.)and the transformation into the Platonic form of uber-Librarian will be complete.

Fred said...

OK - I didn't read the quoted article. But this looks to me like it was written with tongue planted firmly in cheek. At least I hope so...

Anonymous said...

"My name is HighKlass Haley, I like long walks on the beach, milk, silk sheets, ear muffs, time travel, buttons and busting on dorks to hide the fact that I am the biggest dork...I watch every sport pretty frequently, football is the best thing going, followed by College Basketball, College Football, MLB, NBA and Hockey. Nascar blows."

From HighKlass' epic 2006 post on socks:

"First I am going to talk about American Idol. I know you probably think I am BLEEP , but I have few things to say about America. People in this country hate Hot Chicks. They are always the first ones voted off. I don't care if they can sing, they are hot, please start to vote for them. Also there is always one extremely fat person in the top three. If there are 2 fat people left and one suddenly gets voted off, or gets caught stealing a car, or something, the other fat person can breath a little easier (that is pretty funny, because they probably really can't breath easier) because they definitely made the top 5. They can start rapping every song, and they will still make it. It is the rule of thumb for this show. Last for this topic, I hate that chick Paris, she is so annoying. She is 17 acting like she is 50. Act your age, you don't want to grow up to fast. Trust me, I am 30 and I act like I am 14. I just bought a new GI Joe the other day, and I still have no idea how to talk to girls."

Betsy McKenzie said...

This is great! I am so glad I stopped by. What a hoot -- I only hope your post gets back to the worm-head "sports writer!"

Wayne Jones said...

Well, I might be willing to let a sportswriter do my job if it would mean that the writers/commentators on Monday Night Football would just shut up for 5 seconds and let me watch the game.

Anonymous said...

"Libraries would be much more popular if they fired most of the employees and hired witty and attractive people. Aren't we supposed to make libraries more appealing?"

What...turn libraries into clubs or model bars? ...hmmm, come to think of it, it might just work...

Anonymous said...

"What's the difference between a librarian and a hip-hop DJ? The answer is not as much as you think. Both are archivists, preserving and organizing the past, one through books, the other through music."

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=10882002

If this doesn't make us cool, nothing ever will.

Stacey said...

This guy isn't a sports writer; he's a sports blogger. There's a distinct difference, as I'm sure we can all tell by grammar and spelling alone. Let's not give him credit by calling him a writer.

The problem is that many sports bloggers have gathered together to form "networks," which gives them a superficial sense of importance. Sometimes the networks have contributor standards, often they do not.

I say all of this as a massive football fan who has had it *up to here* with most sports bloggers who have no idea what they're blathering about on a day-to-day basis. Including this dude.

Anonymous said...

Dear Al

If you want sterotypes to make fun of, please give us your robust discussion on this series and the subsequent very silly posts on the blog that will follow

http://www.alia.org.au/thelibrariansblog/

Austrlaian librarins get hot under the collar about sterotypes and will go on and on about the series. I think at least we have a regonised sterotype to make fun of and thanks to it librarians get their 15 minutes of fame

Amused

Anonymous said...

let employers choose employees based on any criteria they deem appropriate, including appearance.

Given that so many Americans are now overweight, employment opportunities will become limited, allowing even more of us to live off the government and never have to work again. Brilliant idea!!!