Friday, November 02, 2007

The AL's Been Hacked!

Hi everyone!

Annie Linney here, from the East Skeeter Public Library in East Skeeter, Michigan. (Go, Skeeter High Skeeters!)

I bet you were expecting the Annoyed Librarian today, but you can't have her, because I've hacked her blog! Yay! I used the important critical thinking and computer skills I learned playing Dance Dance Revolution to take over the AL's blog! Today, the AL, tomorrow the world! Or at least the ESPL community room to play some more DDR and keep those kids healthy and off the street! Yay!

And why did I do this terrible thing? It's because I don't think you should be reading the AL. She's not good for you and she's not good for our profession! She's so negative! She's so disrespectful of librarians, librarianship, and library school! She's not constructive for the profession! And she's so cowardly! And mean! And elitist! And contumely!

AL, have you ever heard that if you can't say something nice, then don't say anything at all? Well, that goes double for librarianship. If you can't say something absurdly enthusiastic about the profession, don't say anything at all!! If your perky, chipper smile isn't locked in place and you don't feel as if you'll wet yourself with excitement as you speak about librarianship, then don't say anything at all!

We need more librarians who are perky and upbeat! We don't need cranky old people! Old people are bad because they do things that old people do. Cranky people are bad because they do things cranky people do.

You know who else we don't need? Critics! The AL and her dimwitted minions are all so critical! Criticize, criticize all the time! But does she ever do anything constructive? No! I just don't understand why she would criticize any problems without fixing them! I don't understand why she just makes fun of library trends but doesn't start up her own library trend! Heck, I don't understand a lot of things! (Didn't keep me from sailing through library school, though. ;)

People shouldn't be allowed to make fun of libraries and librarians! That's just not fair! Especially if they're all cowardly and won't even tell us who they really are! That's just wrong! I don't know why, but I just feel that it is, and feelings are important!

Librarians should always be SERIOUS! They should be CONSTRUCTIVE! Because libraries and librarians are serious issues! If you're going to talk about serious issues, then you should be serious and boring, not mean! If you're going to discuss any problems in librarianship, make sure to be as boring and humorless as possible so no one can stay awake until the end of your discussion. That way no one will know about the problems! Yay!

When we're not serious, we definitely shouldn't be satirical. Satire is just mean! We need to be frivolous in a happy, fuzzy-bunny way. We need more kittens and puppies and flowers and happy thoughts in librarianship, not mean old fuddy-duddies who don't always say constructive stuff about our wonderful profession.

I love being a librarian! I love EVERYTHING about it! Anyone who doesn't love everything about it should just be quiet and go do something else! I'm just appalled that anyone would say anything critical about our profession! Librarianship, love it or leave it!

Don't you all know that libraries are in trouble? If we don't stay upbeat and perky, then we might not be around much longer. That's what I overheard in the breakroom today. So we need to perk up and be chipper and happy and brighten everybody's day by dancing and playing with them and maybe showing them pictures of puppies and kittens! That's what people want from librarians! They don't want old sourpusses who just go poopie on everything!

AL, you and all your readers should be ashamed of yourselves, criticizing things and making fun of stuff and everything! You just need to direct your feet to the sunny side of the street! You need to put on a happy face! Smile and the world smiles with you! Don't worry, be happy!

Perkily yours,

Annie Linney :)
East Skeeter Public Library


Anonymous said...

Please, AL, we beg you...go back on the medication...

Leo Klein said...

Who in their right mind would hack into a site to talk about librarians?

What a waste of talent!

Go hack a bank site and make some money!

David, Library Tech. up. North said...

You can't fool us! We know it's you AL. Annie Linney? A. L.? you see, because Annie Linney's initials are...D'OH! You are SO CRAFTY!!!!

Cat. said...

Well, I guess I won't ever visit East Skeeter, MI, or at least not without a biohazard suit.

kittent said...


delightful! It was fun to read Annie's take on the whole situation but I want AL back in all her cranky glory, whether she is right all of the time, or not.

brian said...

Thank you Annie!!!

Anonymous said...

halloween is over - too late for a costume! besides it doesn't fit very well.

Anonymous said...

I poached this from another thread:
I am SO sick of Farkas and her preachy, self-righteous, sit-on-the-fence-offend-no-one spew. So take that!

Careerism drives this, my dear.

You know, I often wonder what some of these prolific bloggers are like in person because their blogger personas are a bit much. Hmmm....this has the makings of a psychology research project.

Anonymous said...

Isn't satire supposed to be funny?

By the way, the "I was just kidding, it was all a goof, don't be so serious" dodge to get out of Internet flamewars is almost as shop-worn as "that's not my crack", "I was out with my friends" or "I hate gay porn I just have it around to remind me I'm not gay."

Proletarian Librarian said...

anon 9:53 - LOL!

Dances With Books said...

Thanks for the laugh this morning.

Anonymous said...

Did anyone count the number of exclamations used??!!

Anonymous said...

Joe Madarotz, Director of the Skeeter University College Library (Go SUC-ers)here. Like Public Librarians in general, Annie just doesn't get it (too busy with cookbooks, romances and kid's books, I guess). Annoyed Librarian, you rock.

slolita culpepper said...

Wait, anonymous commenter, are you ACTUALLY suggesting that Annoyed Librarian and Meredith Farkas are not the same person?

How can you ignore the evidence?

Who is always breaking news about library trends? Meredith Farkas, and, Annoyed Librarian.

Who works in a US East Coast Academic Library? Meredith Farkas, and, Annoyed Librarian.

Who is obviously well-read in library literature in print and online? Yep.

Who loves blogging? Meredith Farkas, and, Annoyed Librarian.

I think it's plain.

Meredith, you may fool some people some of the time, but you can't make us drink.

Kennedy said...

???? I thought many of us went into librarianship because of how soothing low expectations can be. You don't have to work too hard, you have time for your hobbies and interests, it's low stress, and you can excel and feel good about yourself without expending too much life force.

Of course the flip side is that the easy work doesn't provide enough gravity to give your life meaning, and your co-workers can be freaky and/or dumb.

But really, how terrible is it if you 1. work at the level of expectation and just chill, and 2. Take a lesson from most of the working class: Find meaning at home, and after work. I don't want to say consider yourselves lucky or anything, but just try to reframe once in a while. You might suffer less.

Anonymous said...

I would be willing to bet that the AL attended the University of Michigan School of Information. Michigan grads love to tout the "prestigiousness" of their university -- which the AL does often. Also, the AL has made more than a few references to the state of Michigan...

Kennedy said...

oops. wrong entry. Sorry.

Anonymous said...

Lickspit Community Library

Happyness Calendar for November

3rd Happy Puppy day

4th Happy Kitten day

5th Happy Butterfly day
(NOTE: Moths are NOT butterflies!)

6th Library closed for carpet cleaning

7th AL discussion hour (Meanie!)

12th Interactive Positive Thought day

15th Libraries are Great!
(Mandatory to wear buttons)

18th Library budget discussion
(Counselor on call)

22nd Positive Affirmation Training

25th Thanksgiving

27th Hypnosis and you

29th Slim People: Jealousy Issues
(Cakes and cookies free)

30th Memorial candle light vigil
(Open topic)

marion the intoxicarian said...

...yeah, AL is cranky and all but what about the shapely calves!! Doesn't that count for nothing. Gotta go, desk time, back to podcasts of "Rock of Love" on the HD big screen in teenscape at the pubic library.

Anonymous said...

Wait, anonymous commenter, are you ACTUALLY suggesting that Annoyed Librarian and Meredith Farkas are not the same person?

My word, that never even occurred to me! Similar pranks were cited by Andrew Keen in his book about Web 2.0.

There is, however, a crucial difference between the two.

AL's blog: they, they, they, and finger pointing ad nauseum.

MF's blog: I, I, I, me, me, me, and cheerleading ad nauseum.

Anonymous said...

anon. 12:56 PM,

What about fashion tips?

Anonymous said...

Oooh, Annie, you need to start your own blog! We need to hear your bubbly enthusiasm every day, as an antidote to that stodgy old Annoyed Librarian!

By the way, are you (singular or plural, take your pick) a Gemini?

RCN, San Jose, CA

Talking Books Librarian said...

AL, your creativity rocks!

P.S. Hope you get your account back soon! :)

Scott Douglas said...

Does anyone go to a blog called "Annoyed Librarian" and think it will be full of a positive outlook about the library community?

Book Pusher said...

If Farkas and AL are one and the same, I would laugh so much.

Book Pusher said...

That link did not work, but it's probably for the best. Blame my lack of Blogger experience on that one!

Anonymous said...

Thanks for the link, Book Pusher.

Amazing! What a neat way to explain how gaming can be used in the library. She's super cool.

And I gotta go blue this chick hot in real life?

Kendra K. said...

I don't really believe Farkas is AL, but she's in the building right now so I will hunt her down and ask her.

contrarian said...

I love this blog. I’ve been reading the AL ever since her illustrious blogging career began. What’s so fascinating is seeing the number of comments from her dimwitted minions increase. I used to read the comments section when there were 10 – 20 of them. Now it’s common to see 50, 60, 70+ comments. I can’t keep up!

Anonymous said...

Amen, Mr. Kennedy. K-E-N-N-E-D-Y!

Gilbert Bland said...

"Lickspit Community Library

Happyness Calendar for November...

What, no puppet show?!?!

Farkas Is Willin' said...

"...What’s so fascinating is seeing the number of comments from her dimwitted minions increase..."

I resent that comment. I not only got an MSLS I completed the TV Guide crossword in one reference desk.

chimp kicker said...

I also want to point out that according to Farkas' blog, AL is the #1 blog in America!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

I always suspected AL may be bipolar...

Andor Noman said...

Madame, I confess, you had me at "contumely".
Season's Greetings, etc.

The.Effing.Librarian said...

I agree with everything you say, just not how you say it.
Sometimes I get mad at what you do, but since no one else is doing it, I won't complain too much.

diane said...


After soliciting input from SLMS, David Warlick has just posted
his metaphor for our profession: librarians as viruses.

My 8th graders were just in the LMC researching viruses...I am not amused by the comparison.

Are we bacteria also?

Call me Typhoid Mary.

Kevin Musgrove said...

A virus that sat in a corner muttering to itself that it's Extremely Important is hardly the stuff of epidemic.

Oh, and Annie love, don't be so half-hearted in your enthusiams. MUST HAVE MORE CAPITALS!!!!!

Will the Annie Linney Tote Bag be available for Xmas?

Anonymous said...

After an excruciating test comparison between Meredith Farkas's writing and the Annoyed Librarian, the results are in: Meredith Farkas cannot, I repeat cannot be the Annoyed Librarian because:

a) she enjoys her job (maybe just a little too much)
b) is well adjusted as a librarian and a person (unlike AL)
c) does not seem to have an axe to grind (about the ALA or anyone else for that matter)

Whew! I'm so glad AL's cover isn't blown. Now I can go back to my shelf list in peace.

skeptical thomas said...

I'm pretty sure AL also enjoys her job, and is fairly well-adjusted as a librarian and person, so I don't buy those arguments.

Anonymous said...

is well adjusted as a librarian and a person (unlike AL)

You gleaned this from her writing? I think some of you spend way too much time online. You've been duped by a carefully crafted persona. Of course, you never see this person's dark side because, like most bloggers, she's craves validation. You'd be very surprised (perhaps, disappointed) to meet some of these people in person.

Meredith said...

Yes anonymous. You've got me. I crave validation so much that I think I'll have to go drink an extra martini tonight or up my meds now that I've seen some of the things you and your cohorts (or perhaps just you, y'all really need pseudonyms or ID numbers like anonymous12475) wrote about me. Yes, you are much braver than I for writing what you really think; what a personal and professional risk you're taking. I applaud you.

On the other hand, I do agree with you in one sense. I don't think anyone should assume that someone is happy in their job just because they don't read negative things on the person's blog. I've met a lot of people who were passionate about the profession and the work they did, but only found out when I met them in person that they were very unhappy with their place of work. You can't exactly write that stuff on a blog your name is identified with.

If only I had an alter ego...

Anonymous said...

You can't exactly write that stuff on a blog your name is identified with.

Well, then they aren't professionally brave.

Meredith said...

Well, then they aren't professionally brave.

I believe the word is actually "stupid."

Anonymous said...


If this is really you, I am not sure why you would indulge phantom posters on the AL. Also, your response, thinly veiled with typical gen-x sarcasm, shows you actually do care. Why? I have no idea. You shouldn't give a rat's arse. Read Plato's Allegory of the Cave.

Anonymous said...

Disgusts me how the likes of Rachel Gordon and Kim Dority can write so perkily about a dying profession.

Anonymous said...

I just can't stop thinking about the "elderly cleavage."