The AL's Been Hacked!

Hi everyone!

Annie Linney here, from the East Skeeter Public Library in East Skeeter, Michigan. (Go, Skeeter High Skeeters!)

I bet you were expecting the Annoyed Librarian today, but you can't have her, because I've hacked her blog! Yay! I used the important critical thinking and computer skills I learned playing Dance Dance Revolution to take over the AL's blog! Today, the AL, tomorrow the world! Or at least the ESPL community room to play some more DDR and keep those kids healthy and off the street! Yay!

And why did I do this terrible thing? It's because I don't think you should be reading the AL. She's not good for you and she's not good for our profession! She's so negative! She's so disrespectful of librarians, librarianship, and library school! She's not constructive for the profession! And she's so cowardly! And mean! And elitist! And contumely!

AL, have you ever heard that if you can't say something nice, then don't say anything at all? Well, that goes double for librarianship. If you can't say something absurdly enthusiastic about the profession, don't say anything at all!! If your perky, chipper smile isn't locked in place and you don't feel as if you'll wet yourself with excitement as you speak about librarianship, then don't say anything at all!

We need more librarians who are perky and upbeat! We don't need cranky old people! Old people are bad because they do things that old people do. Cranky people are bad because they do things cranky people do.

You know who else we don't need? Critics! The AL and her dimwitted minions are all so critical! Criticize, criticize all the time! But does she ever do anything constructive? No! I just don't understand why she would criticize any problems without fixing them! I don't understand why she just makes fun of library trends but doesn't start up her own library trend! Heck, I don't understand a lot of things! (Didn't keep me from sailing through library school, though. ;)

People shouldn't be allowed to make fun of libraries and librarians! That's just not fair! Especially if they're all cowardly and won't even tell us who they really are! That's just wrong! I don't know why, but I just feel that it is, and feelings are important!

Librarians should always be SERIOUS! They should be CONSTRUCTIVE! Because libraries and librarians are serious issues! If you're going to talk about serious issues, then you should be serious and boring, not mean! If you're going to discuss any problems in librarianship, make sure to be as boring and humorless as possible so no one can stay awake until the end of your discussion. That way no one will know about the problems! Yay!

When we're not serious, we definitely shouldn't be satirical. Satire is just mean! We need to be frivolous in a happy, fuzzy-bunny way. We need more kittens and puppies and flowers and happy thoughts in librarianship, not mean old fuddy-duddies who don't always say constructive stuff about our wonderful profession.

I love being a librarian! I love EVERYTHING about it! Anyone who doesn't love everything about it should just be quiet and go do something else! I'm just appalled that anyone would say anything critical about our profession! Librarianship, love it or leave it!

Don't you all know that libraries are in trouble? If we don't stay upbeat and perky, then we might not be around much longer. That's what I overheard in the breakroom today. So we need to perk up and be chipper and happy and brighten everybody's day by dancing and playing with them and maybe showing them pictures of puppies and kittens! That's what people want from librarians! They don't want old sourpusses who just go poopie on everything!

AL, you and all your readers should be ashamed of yourselves, criticizing things and making fun of stuff and everything! You just need to direct your feet to the sunny side of the street! You need to put on a happy face! Smile and the world smiles with you! Don't worry, be happy!

Perkily yours,

Annie Linney :)
East Skeeter Public Library