Useless and Irrelevant ALA Resolutions

Got back from ALA last week. The main thing I'm always stunned by is the size of librarians' behinds. I mean, what is it about this profession? Do people with extraordinarily large bottoms just naturally choose to become librarians, or is there something about the job that makes 'em so big. I'm going to take a good close look at my own to try to figure that one out.

Meanwhile, the ALA Council, focused as always on ways to to improve my professional life, which is of course what they should be doing as a professional association, passed at Midwinter a resolution condeming the Alito confirmation.

Wow, that sure did a lot of good. And tell me again what that had to do with librarianship? Absolutely nothing! Just a way for some pathetic librarians to try to stick it to the man. What a bunch of losers. It would be nice occasionally if the politically selfrighteous librarians among us would focus on their jobs instead of putting the ALA name behind every knee-jerk idea of the left. I guess they're too busy trying to save the world and free the oppressed, one library card at a time. They probably think to themselves, doing library work--that's really boring and useless. Passing meaningless resolutions--now that's important work!

And before you get your politically selfrighteous enormous bottom in a tizzy, whether I oppose Alito or not has absolutely nothing to do with being a librarian! Why is the ALA making resolutions like this at all? This is doing nothing to improve the image and the professional life of librarians. Why don't they make resolutions about things they know about, like storytime and defending kiddie porn?