Dear Annoyed Librarian #1: A Career?

Occasionally the Annoyed Librarian will get plaintive messages from my many readers seeking advice about the field of librarianship. Occasionally I will be answering such letters.

Dear Annoyed Librarian,

I'm currently a circulation clerk in a library, but I'm thinking of going to library school so I can exchange the drudgery of my current existence for the glamorous lifestyle of the real, bona fide librarians I see around me. Do you have any advice?

Signed,
Librarian Manque

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Dear Manque,

I do have some questions to ponder for anyone considering library school and eventually a career in librarianship.

1) Have you already failed at everything else in life first? (Considering you're currently a circulation clerk, and that you consider the lives of librarians relatively glamourous, I'll consider that a "yes.")

2) Do you have an enormous bottom? (This is not an absolutely necessary requirement, but satisfying it will help you blend in more in the workplace.)

3) Do you have a high capacity for boredom? (This may not be necessary for some actual librarian jobs, but it certainly helps in library school, which is like graduate school, but a lot easier...if you can stand the boredom.)

4) Are you willing to work for low wages doing tedious chores with little hope for career advancement?

5) Do you think the most fun to be had from life comes from grabbing every spare pen, poster, tote bag, bookmark, and sparkly giveaway object in sight at ALA?

If you answered "yes" to these five questions, I think you will have a happy and satisfying career in the field of librarianship. Best of luck to you in your future endeavors.

Yours,
The Annoyed Librarian