The Annoyed Librarian is very concerned about a serious problem in the field of librarianship--the problem of underrepresented minorities. She as much as anyone wants to see the field of librarianship absolutely representative of the American population as a whole, because she knows, as you know in your hearts, that if absolute proportional representation isn't achieved, it's because Evil People have been oppressing Good People. And the Annoyed Librarian doesn't like Evil People!
And what is this minority group that has for so long been absent from the glorious field of librarianship?
Well, I've been reading another library blog where the blogger is talking about the lack of representation of her minority group in libraries. She wants to see more people like herself and make sure they're out. Yada, yada, yada. People always seem to want to see more people like themselves. How provincial. But I would like to discuss a group that I would like to see more of in librarianship: good-looking, heterosexual males. Where are the attractive straight guys, that's what I'd like to know?
I mean, seriously, were I to look around my library for a date, which I probably wouldn't do, what would I see? "Pleasantly plump" middle-aged white women. Sure, plenty of them are nice enough, but do I really want to invite any of them back to my place for a bottle of wine? Do I want to take a stroll though the park or a trip to the beach with them? Nope.
Aren't there any men, you ask? Sure, a handful. But they're all gay, even the married ones. Or they're really old and seedy looking. Or they suffer from the masculine variety of Librarian's Bottom. Or they haven't washed their hair in a week. Or they dress like hippies on laundry day. Or they just have "I'm a spindly geek who'd rather mindmeld with my hard drive than talk to a woman" written all over them.
I want Cary Grant, I get Rip Taylor.
I go to the ALA conference, and what do I see? The same thing! The only good-looking straight men work for the vendors. There's that guy from Proquest, for example. Growl! But who knows where these vendor people live!
This is yet another problem I think the ALA should try and fail to solve. I know, I know, people have been complaining about librarianship as a feminized profession forever. But who's done anything about it? No one, that's who! I want to see active recruitment by the ALA and by library schools. I want there to be promotional posters saying things like, "Are you a hot straight guy? Then you should become a librarian!" I want celebrity read posters with topless women to attract the straight guys. I want to go to ALA and be surrounded by 6'4" Adonises. And then I want to return to my library and "team teach" a few BI classes with them.
Straight men--the forgotten minority in librarianship! If people really wanted to fight for underrepresented minorites in our field, that's the fight they'd be fighting. I see these library job ads with the standard EEOC disclaimer, "women and minorities are encouraged to apply." More women! Is that what we really need? I want to see disclaimers that read, "Straight males, preferably good-looking, are encouraged to apply." And regarding minorities, I'm not prejudiced. White, black, yellow, red, brown, I don't really care. That's not the crucial minority. The crucial minority is: Hot. Straight. Guys. Any race, creed, color, or ethnicity will do.
And believe it or not, I'm being completely selfless here, because if it happened, it wouldn't really matter for me. You see, I don't date librarians.