Friday, October 27, 2006

To My Dimwitted Minions

I have been informed by one of my many critics that I am smugly elitist, and also that I have dimwitted minions. (The definition of "dimwitted minion" would seem to be "Anyone who agrees with the AL and disagrees with me.") The first charge cuts me to the quick, and I will of course spend my weekend searching my soul and examining my conscience and whatnot, probably with the help of a few martinis. The second charge comes as a surprise, since I wasn't aware I had any minions. It's very exciting to know that I do, and I must spend some more time figuring out what to do with all of them. What's the point of having minions if they don't fawn over you and mix you drinks and feed your cats and such?

So to all my dimwitted minions out there, I'd just like to say, have a good weekend.

26 comments:

Anonymous said...

I don't mind being a dimwitted minion (there's an alliterative quality to it, after all) as long as I don't have to drink martinis. Those things ARE smugly elitist.

The Hag said...

Having just spent five 13 hour days locked up in meetings and mandatory 'opportunities for social networking', I would like to apply for a post as a minion. I feel completely qualified since I am now brain-dead and would like to hang around with an elitist. It would make a nice change. Martinis optional.

Anonymous said...

I don't do martinis, but this head cold's making me pretty dimwitted (or dim-witted, for the elitist crowd) at the moment.

I don't do anonymous comments either. Usually.

Dances With Books said...

So, will AL someday rise like some charismatic leader to lead the Dimwitted Minion Army to some victory against stupidity? Will we then be remembered when AL rises to power? Will the martini become the official drink? More of a wine DM soldier here, but I am willing to acquire the martini taste for the greater cause.

Anonymous said...

Please let me know if there is to be a camp where I can be thoroughly indoctrinated in serving the AL cause. I still have some will of my own left, and I'd like to see it wiped out through careful brainwashing. I'm already quite good at fawning.

Mack said...

I think we need t-shirts, ball caps,a logo, and a slogan. Perhaps our logo could be D.M.A. under a martini glass with olives rampant. I might even go to ALA if I could be part of AL's posse and look menacing.

char said...

Yay--I've always wanted to be a minion!

I think all your minions should be required to wear brown dresses, sensible shoes and cats-eye glasses. We need a minion uniform after all!

I'm dimwitted at least half the time, so can I be your #1 minion? I make a mean martini as well. This is so exciting!

Anonymous said...

When you start getting hate mail like that you know you're making a difference.

Keep up the good work AL!

-a dimwitted minion

Mack said...

Umm, Char, do the male minions have to wear brown dresses and cats-eye glasses as well? I don't look good in brown.

Andor Noman said...

Madame, I would otherwise submit an application to become a dimwitted minion, but cats choose to remove themselves quickly from my presence, and the drinks mixed tend to be somewhat strong. I fear these would mitigate against my usefulness. I do dust shelves well, if I may say so.

shade said...

Hey AL,

I've only recently started reading your blog and I'm enjoying it immensely, but I have to say I have no real interest in being a dimwitted minion (although there's nothing wrong with it) so can I drink martinis with you and help you think up things for the DMs to do? This may be presumptuous considering the fact that even though I went to library school and earned a degree I'm not entitled to call myself a librarian because I failed to get a library job (I've been reading previous posts), but I've been called an elitist and I can work on the smug part. And even though I'm not technically a librarian (yet) on the positive side I'm an entertaining companion, can drink my weight in martinis and I know how to figure out who anonymous is so we can sic the DM army on him. Ok, I made that up -- I can only drink half my weight in martinis, but I go both ways -- gin and vodka. So if a smug, elitist companion position opens up I'd love to interview.

btw - I have four cats, three black and one orange (he's a little retarded but I love him sometimes) and I have glasses so I have some librarian qualities. Oh, and I can read, I hear that can be important.

Anonymous said...

Give me the AL fan club full of big bottom dimwits over the Social Responsibility Round Table any day. Let's turn all 4 cheeks to the creep who called us dimwits and drink a toast to AL. Long live AL!

dre said...

I also make a mean martini (gin or vodka, dry or dirty, shaken or stirred) and would love to join the Annoyed Librarian Army (ALA).

So these hate mail messages...are they posted as comments to your previous posts? If not, could you please post them?

I want to know what we are up against.

Excellent blog, by the way. It serves nice counter to webtamer and his happy tech gang of super friends.

Anonymous said...

The Dimwitted Minions have gathered to fight/they lurk by day, these armies of night/to slay the wise ones basking in light/so thick they cannot see wrong from left/or even from right.

Anonymous said...

Libraries CAN be exciting places!

http://personalwebs.coloradocollege.edu/~jrandall/libraryshenanigans/

Anonymous said...

http://personalwebs.coloradocollege.edu
/~jrandall/libraryshenanigans/

AL said...

I was referring to a comment on the jobs advice post from a couple of days ago.

I'm a purist when it comes to martinis, so gin only, please, the stronger the better.

And the cats don't always have to be in the same room.

AL said...

And on libraries being exciting places, I especially liked the streakers. We need more librarians like that.

Bob H. said...

You "anonymous" people need to stop being anonymous - at least take on an authentic fake name like I have so that we can keep tabs on which anonymous is which!

Now that that rant is taken care of - I don't think of myself as a dimwitted minion thanks, and I look crumby in brown dresses (my shoulders are a little too broad).

Anonymous said...

Dear AL,

If you are going to have dimwitted minions, you need to review the rules for evil overlords.

http://www.eviloverlord.com/lists/overlord.html

Contrarian Librarian said...

Bob h. is right. From now on I'm the Contrarian Librarian. I'm working on my MLS and working in a library. I'm a devout follower of AL with a small bottom. I don't drink martinis, but I share many of AL's annoyances with ALA. Power to the minions!

anonymous anonymous said...

So I'm the anonymous that makes all the clever remarks; that's how you can tell me apart. Also, I'm the one male anonymous that doesn't subtly hit on AL.
Also also, I'm the anonymous that started this particular marathon commenting session off.
So I'll call myself anonymous anonymous, in honor of Hugh Laurie being on SNL last night. (His best role, as the Prince Regent on Blackadder III, had him saying 'your highness your highness' to BA when, for reasons that are best left unexplained, the prince and the butler had to swap roles.)

Admirer of Anonymous said...

Amazing that one post from Anonymous could spark so many comments. Perhaps it was all a ploy on the part of AL to see how many people would actually respond to something more lively than the typical banalities. Did anyone think of that? Notice, in AL's reply no objection was made to having minions, just that AL is surprised (flattered?) that that appears to be the case. After all, what is a blog but a cyber extension of the ego? Furthermore, to those who engaged in fallacious ad hominem attacks against Anonymous for not revealing her- or himself by name, what difference would that have made? The words would have stung just the same.

Anonymous said...

If the accusser had any stylistic sense, the phrase would have been "dimwitted devotees" or somesuch.

Although I am partial to vodka, I am mostly partial to the eclectic, verve and intelligence. AL has these in spades, baby.

My orbit is far, far from librarianship. It's not so much the subject matter as the content. AL could conceivable write about epidemiology or interest rate fluctuations and I'd read it.

--Taupey

AL said...

My goodness, there have been a lot of comments on this post. This just goes to show that I'm a terrible judge of what will bring on the responses, since this was intended, not to gather my minions and dominate the world as someone humorously suggested, but merely to be a quick throwaway post in response to what I thought was a stupid insult. I just thought it would be funny. Nevertheless, I appreciate the support from all of my non-dimwitted, non-minion readers.

exiled anonymous librarian said...

Hey, you're welcome. I can't speak for all the other minions (dimwitted or otherwise), but you're refreshing to read and make me think about this "so-called" profession that I'm employed in by 'curious circumstances'.

Can I have a martini now? I like it stirred, not shaken.