Library Jobs That Suck #2

This is another entry in the "Library Jobs That Suck" category. This feature depends on there actually being advertised library jobs that suck. I think it's safe to say I won't be running out of material any time soon.

Thank goodness the ALA is trying to recruit more librarians, too, because there are a lot of jobs that suck, and we wouldn't want them to go unfilled, now would we. I for one am proud to know that the ALA is doing all it can to improve the quality of life of professional librarians, like trashing the Boy Scouts and passing useless and irrelevant political resolutions. Thank you, ALA!
So what sort of opportunities do we have before us today, dear readers?

Wow!! If you really want to see a job that sucks, read this ad. And it's not even a job that sucks, it's just a chance to enter yourself into the pool for the potential opportunity possibly to work at a job that sucks.

Some organization in the Golden State (again!) calling themselves the "West Valley -Mission Community College District" "is now accepting applications from qualified persons for the purpose of developing a pool of librarians interested in part-time assignments in library automation." Developing a pool! And if you're succesful, what do you get?

"The assignment may require working day, evening, or Saturday as needed, beginning Fall 2006. This recruitment process is to pre-qualify you for possible future assignments. As an assignment becomes available, you may be contacted to determine if you are available."

Isn't that exciting! I might pre-qualify (I'm not sure how that's different from just regular qualifying, but I'm willing to give it a try) for a possible future assignment, if it becomes available and if they decide to contact me, and if I'm available! I better not get too excited; someone has to use this chair after I do.

But am I possibly qualified for such a plum potential future assignment? Well, I do have an ALA-accredited MLS (yay!!), but I could also do it if I had a "valid California Community College Instructor's Credential in library science," whatever that is. I sure hope no one tries to sneak in with an invalid one of those. I always get excited when I find out what my ALA-accredited MLS prepares me to do! My "advanced" degree!

But what about the desired qualifications? Do I have any of those?

• Experience with the various functions, including system management, of an integrated on-line public access system.
• Experience with designing and maintaining a library website.
• Experience with microcomputer hardware and software.
• Educational preparation and work experience with institutional computer networks.
• Experience with on-line retrieval systems.
• Experience providing reference service.
• Experience working effectively with staff and maintaining a cohesive team approach.
• Excellent oral and written communication skills.
• Excellent interpersonal skills.
• Effective problem solving skills.
• Effective training and instructional skills

That doesn't sound like too much to ask, especially since this must be one of those really good potential, possible, counterfactual type jobs.

But what do I have to do? That's the first big question.

"Librarian duties are assigned by the dean in consultation with the librarian and the supervisor and may consist of one or more of the following:

• Work with students at the reference desk.
• Manage the acquisitions, technical processing, reference, circulation and audio-visual functions of the library.
• Provide reference assistance for students and staff.
• Evaluate, select and discard print and non-print library materials to keep the library collection current with curriculum.
• Provide bibliographic instruction to students.
• Coordinate library activities with the instructional and counseling faculty.
• Hire, train and supervise classified and student staff.
• Manage the library computer system.
• Teach applicable courses in library methods, etc.
• Librarians have the option of teaching outside their primary area on an overload basis.
• To be eligible for an assignment outside their area of primary responsibility, they must qualify through the established guidelines.
• Librarians who teach classes must comply with the duties required of the academics as outlined in their job description, including ½ hour for each section taught.
• In addition to the library-related duties outlined above, librarians are expected to assume institutional responsibilities which are of value to their department, division, college and/or District as delineated in Article 22 of the Association of College Educators union contract."

That seems like a lot to me, but I'm pretty lazy. My favorite thing would be to teach outside my primary area on an "overload basis." That would probably happen a lot, because I'm often overloaded. (Jeeves, bring me another Martini!)

After reading this, though, my heart was racing and sweat was dripping from my brow. It almost fell on my keyboard, but fortunately my newest little kitty Chaps was curled up in my lap and absorbed the worst of it. What would they pay for all this?

"Salary is based on a percentage of workload up to a maximum of 60% (percent). Salary is prorated based on a minimum salary range of $15,658 - $17,968; maximum earnable up to $22,860."

$22,860!!! Max!!! The Annoyed Librarian nearly soiled her tastefully patterned undies when when she read that! Can I move to Saratoga, CA (3br, 2 bath house minimum $849,000) and try my hand at possibly qualifying (or better yet, pre-qualifying!) for entering the potential pool for possible future employment there? Do I dare to dream?! Talk about an exciting career as an information professional! And 15 of us living together might be able to afford a house! I might pre-qualify for the opportunity to possibly one day maybe be able to afford a potential house.

We need more librarians! We need more librarians!

I might have to apply to this one, too.

For this I went to library school.