What is it about all these libaries "developing a pool"? I thought there was a librarian shortage going on! That's what that nice Leslie Burger and those folks over at the ALA keep saying, and why would they lie? Doesn't the fact that libraries are "developing pools" pretty much prove that there's no librarian shortage? Don't "develop a pool" you cheapskates--hire someone! Is there no shame?
Well here's another job that sucks--hanging around Bloomsburg, Pennsylvania. That's pretty much the job. I've never been to Bloomsburg. It might be nice, and I might even be willing to work there if the money was right, but I'm sure I wouldn't want to hang around there just waiting for this.
An adoring fan in the Keystone State passed this one on to me, though you might notice it's nationally advertised. Nationally advertised! Because of course this one will draw professional librarians like dung draws flies.
"Bloomsburg University of Pennsylvania's Harvey A. Andruss Library is developing a pool of qualified librarians interested in having their names on file to be considered as vacancies are created by emergency situations or temporary openings."
Let's see..."developing a pool"..."interested in having their names on file"..."to be considered"...etc. Is this like that Kevin Bacon game? Are we seven degrees from employment here?
"Such individuals would be hired for employment in Reference, Cataloging, Government Documents, or Access Services."
Those lucky guys!
"Requirements for eligibility include an American Library Association accredited Master's degree, a minimum of six months' relevant experience, and a demonstrated ability to work with diverse populations. Finalists must communicate well and successfully complete an interview process."
I'm glad that ALA-accredited master's degree is required. This is professional work, after all! We wouldn't want just anyone temporarily on call for this great job!
"Salary is dependent upon length of contract."
But you can bet it'll be low!
"Temporary appointments do not include benefits."
"Send letter of application, vita, and names, addresses and telephone numbers of three individuals familiar with your work to: Nancy S. Weyant, Chairperson, Temporary Pool Search Committee, Harvey A. Andruss Library, Bloomsburg University of Pennsylvania, Bloomsburg, PA 17815."
Hurry, do it today! Tell 'em you found their post on "Library Jobs that Suck" in the Annoyed Librarian and your application gets moved immediately to the top of the queue!
I won't analyze it anymore, because I want to let the person who sent the ad to me speak instead. Somebody in Pennsylvania might be a little annoyed:
"I especially enjoyed the most significant hiring criteria--that the successful candidate can 'communicate well,' and of course they throw in ability to work with a 'diverse population.' For once I would love to see a library position that flatly states that the successful candidate is NOT required to work or communicate well with a diverse population and that any indications to the contrary in the resume or during the interview process will result in the immediate suspension of further hiring consideration. They forgot to add that the successful candidates should also be willing to hang around Bloomsburg, PA for the rest of their lives waiting for the opportunity to sit on occasion at a circulation or reference desk when the incumbent opts for knee replacement surgery or liposuction on their fat [bottom].”
The Annoyed Librarian couldn't have said it better herself.
For this I went to library school?