Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Tips for the Big Easy

It's entirely possible that my loyal readers (thanks, you two!) will be travelling, as I will, to New Orleans for the Annual meeting of the American Library Association. Some of us might even be wondering why, if there is an annual meeting, which to most English speakers means "a meeting held once a year," there is yet another meeting in January. This should of course be called the SemiAnnual meeting. But I digress.

For those who will be travelling to New Orleans, the Annoyed Librarian has some advice. She has visited New Orleans many times, and is willing to share you the benefit of her wisdom.

1) New Orleans is very hot this time of year. Wear as little clothing as possible. The Annoyed Librarian will be celebrating the rich heritage of the South by dressing like Daisy Duke.

2) New Orleans is very unsafe at all times of the year. Always travel in a large cluster of librarians.

3) If you refuse to heed my advice, then carry some means of self-defense. The Annoyed Librarian always travels with a Library of Congress tote bag loaded with two rolls of quarters which she swings constantly above her head to ward off attackers. It also wards off pretty much everyone else as well, which is a lagniappe (I'm getting into the New Orleans spirit already!).

4) So that a librarian in trouble will be able to identify another one in the street, always wear your ALA name badge wherever you go. There is NO WAY anyone would be able to spot the librarians unless they are wearing their ALA name badges.

5) Go to Leslie Burger's "Blogger Bash" and meet the Annoyed Librarian. She'll be the cute one standing in the corner dressed like Daisy Duke and pretending she's the real writer of Catalogablog.

6) Go to the Hotel Moche down at Dauphine and Conti, where the Annoyed Librarian stays. At the hotel bar, tell Evangeline Duchet that AL sent you, and she'll treat you right.

7) Remember, vendors are there to be used and they love librarians as much as librarians love their patrons. They like nothing more than spending time wining and dining librarians because librarians are, as we all know, the most interesting people on the planet Earth. When they aren't at ALA and professionally obligated to hang around with librarians buying them free meals, they go out and find some random librarians and buy them free meals. (This advice applies to pretty much any ALA conference, but it's important and true, so I wanted to include it.)

8) Most importantly, don't get sick! All of the hospitals are still closed.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

If you're really going look me up and I'll buy you a beer! - Greg

P.B.I. Librarian said...

Re: item (1)... got pics?

:-)

Annoyed Librarian said...

You crazy guys!

Gabriel Lundeen said...

Hilarious post, and great blog (except when it brought me way too close to despairing reality the other day while I was bored out of my mind at work). I'll be in New Orleans too, and maybe I'll stop by that hotel bar in search of more booze.

Oh, and check out my blog if you've got the notion.